When did you become a mommy

Most would assume that a woman becomes a mommy the moment she pushes, or has removed, that little bundle of joy out of the internal oven it's been growing in. That would be a fair assumption but for me that moment didn't come until a little later. Now don't get me wrong, I fell in love with Olivia the minute I set eyes on her. I doted over every inch of her and of course thought she was the most beautiful baby ever born. Aside from that the word "mommy" still felt a little foreign to me. That was until one night about eight months later.

She awoke from her peaceful baby slumber with a scream that could only mean one thing.... her first ear infection. Fumbling in the dark I scooped her up in my arms and knew we were in for a long night. The baby Tylenol wasn't touching the pain and no matter what I did I could tell she was miserable. As I held her against my chest there was no doubt I would do anything, seriously anything, to make the pain stop. I cried for her while I rocked her and still swear I had sympathy pains in my ears that whole night. The next morning I rushed her to the doctor in my sweat pants without any make up on. Up until this point in my life a large man with a scary gun could not have gotten me to leave the house in this condition, I wouldn't have it. The doctor quickly diagnosed her with a double ear infection and sent us on our way with the infamous bubble gum meds. She slept much better that night.

It was that night that the term "mommy" no longer felt like a pair of shoes that you love but just don't fit right. I realized I would sacrifice anything for this little persons well being no matter how unfamiliar or terrifying. When you become a mommy all of those narcissistic, self fulfilling tendencies take a back seat. That doesn't mean you don't loose your cool on occasion and let the baby cry sometimes so you can apply that extra coat of mascara. For me it just means that motherhood feels more familiar then most tasks life throws at me. I respond quicker to being called mommy then I do to my own name. It's part of my genetic make up now and while it took a little while for me to get there, there isn't anything that could take it away. I'm a mommy and oh how sweet it is.